I got married on February 16, 2013 and I have to say that is was a crazy wild experience. If you have ever planned a wedding and tried to live your life, you probably know finding balance can be difficult. Planning a wedding is a big deal and can be all consuming but finding balance is possible. I had to learn that I how to prioritize things and unfortunately some things got put on the back burner.
I have learned a few things about finding balance when planning a big event or doing something big in your life and I want to share them with you. Here are 3 strategies I found to be helpful to help me balance things and feel good about my choices:
1) Remember you are making the choice on what to prioritize. When you remember you have a choice, you don’t fall into the victim role and you don’t blame others for what you do and don’t do. Recognizing that you have choices is also empowering. What you focus on is completely up to you.
2) Engage in stress reducing activities. Wedding planning can be stressful just like training for a competition, or even having a baby, buying a house or preparing for a long vacation. One of the most important things I tried to make sure I did was keep my stress low and engage in stress reducing activities. For me one of my favorites is sitting in the wet sauna and doing deep breathing. I, also, let go of my need to control everything, which was difficult at time however, it was important in remaining relatively stress free during my wedding planning. I did this by allowing others to help me and not by telling them exactly how things should be. I have to say that these two things together were a powerhouse in keeping me from being the bridezzilla that we hear about women becoming at times.
3) Know my limits. There is only 24 hours in a day and too me 8 of them should be spent sleeping to help my body repair and regenerate what it needs to, so that only leaves 16 hours. When you work a day job for 8 hours, that leaves 8 hours to do the rest of the things you need to do, including time to get ready, cook and eat dinner. I only had so much time everyday night to do things and to keep my stress low, I had to learn my limits. I am only capable of doing so many things at one time and sometimes I think I am superwoman or wonder woman or both and over estimate what I can do and then feel bad when I am not able to do it all. For me this played out in not being able to train the way I wanted to and the way I was used to so instead I focused on my eating, my sleep and keeping my stress down. I could have seen this as a fail but I saw this as a strength. (Perception is everything) When I was able to accept my limits I felt better about myself and did not emotionally abuse myself. This is crucial for you too – accept your limits as a strength and do NOT emotionally abuse or berate yourself for the things you can’t do and then when you are able to do them, celebrate your accomplishments.
These three things helped me manage my stress and made the wedding planning enjoyable. I was able to accept myself and in turn I learned more about myself. By focusing on less stress, I didn’t see a huge increase in weight and I stay relatively stable both physically and most importantly emotionally & mentally. This made me a happy bride on my wedding day instead of a stressed out anxious crazy bridezilla.
So remember to know and accept your limits, focus on stress reducing activities (including sleep) & take responsibility for the choices you make. These three things will help you achieve your goal and enjoy the process and end point, if there is one (like my wedding day).
Live your life without regrets and take ownership of your choices – Amanda