A memory was triggered around an experience I had, when my friend, Shannon Whaley, wrote
“We’ve lived with our truth in our throats, holding back….”
For so long, I had this fear about speaking up for myself and sharing my truth with others. The words would literally get stuck in my throat and would eventually wither away along with my confidence. I was so scared of what “would” happen if I shared my truths. I had this story that if I spoke my truth, if I spoke up for myself……
I’m 41 years old, almost 42 and I have done a lot of shit wrong, but then again I’ve done a lot of shit right too. I have lived a lot of life, seen things most people have never seen, done things most people will never understand or even do in their lives, and yet I haven’t lived the life I thought I would.
Truth be told, I never thought I would have dropped out of high school, gotten involved in drugs or even gotten divorced, but I did. I also never thought I would have been the….
Not too long ago, I was having a conversation with a friend who was sharing an emotionally troubling experience she had with someone close to her. She shared how she felt about hearing they no longer wanted to have a relationship with her and how she hasn’t changed at all. She was devastated because she loves this person so much and has made many changes in her life. However she also is at a point in her life and journey where she just simply said okay and walked away…..
“We don’t always talk about things that happened, so they become the Elephant in the Room.” This was the sentence I started with when I wrote my most recent email to the women of Beautiful Knockout letting them know things have and are changing at Beautiful Knockout. You see, I started my business in 2012 and in its infancy I was focused on “health and fitness’ but something was missing…. I wasn’t the Health and Fitness Person I was showing up as. While I enjoy health and fitness, it isn’t what I wanted to……
I used to blame others for what was happening in my life. I would ask myself “why is this happening to me, what did I do?” I felt powerless and like a constant victim of my life. Then one day, I woke up and realized that when I blamed someone or something else, I had no power to change anything. So I started taking ownership where I could and my life began to change.
Many of us want to change or experience a change in our lives, but we aren’t willing to look at our responsibility for…..
Let me start by start by asking you a question, “Have you been feeling overwhelmed by all the information that is out there?” Well I was and it was hard to make sense of what was right for me, who was the expert I should listen too? Eventually, all of it ran together and sounded the same……. So, I disconnected, unsubscribed and tuned out almost everyone. Maybe you can relate……
Boxing holds no judgment or grudges, it is a place where you test your skill, speed, power and agility. When you are in the ring you aren’t really fighting your opponent, you are battling the stories you tell yourself, the stories of whether you are good enough or strong enough, or even smart enough to get though this next round. Boxing is like everyday life, you get knocked down, you get back up and if not you’re out. Failure happens, success happens and no matter whether you win or lose, you leave all your blood, sweat and tears in the ring…..
Back in September 2014, I wrote my story and shared it with everyone receiving my emails. Then I posted it on my website to share with the world, to take ownership of my story, who I was and how that has lead me to who I am today. Then several months ago, my website got hacked and I lost two very important blogs, this being one of them. I got the problem fixed right away however, that data was lost…. It was like the universe was conspiring to force me to share my story again…..
When I decided to add CLEAR to the 2015 reading list for the Beautiful Knockout Book Club, I had no idea how my life was about to change. And there was no way my friend and author of CLEAR, Annick Magac, would have been able to know the depth of CLEAR’s transformational impact on the direction of my life. She is not a psychic; she is an author, interior designer, health and fitness coach and a woman who……
When I was 6, 7, and 8 life seemed so much easy and I had so much fun. I didn’t have all the worries of my adult self. In fact, some of my biggest worries were around what and who I would be playing with and what was to eat. As I got older and into my teens all I wanted to do was be recognized and treated like an adult. I became self conscious of what people thought of me and would hid my true feelings about things and try not to be to smart, to funny, to creative…..