38 and GreatSo today is my 38th Birthday!!! And boy am I feeling great!!  I have to say so far this birthday was better than last years and not because of gifts I received but because of what I have learned over the past year.  For some reason turning 37 was emotionally difficult however turning 38 has felt great even though I am one year closer to the big 4-0 everyone talks about.

I have learned many things over the past year and some may appear more valuable than others, however, to be honest there is no lesson more valuable than the next.  They have all added value to and brought perspective to my life.  Without these lessons, I wouldn’t appreciate this moment right now where I am and the people who are in my life.

1) We only have so much energy.  So I choose to spend it on things I love instead of things that drag me down and cause me pain.  Too often we spend our energy on things that do nothing to enhance our lives and that cause us stress. Enough is enough, spend your energy on things that truly make  you happy.

2) Super woman is bullshit and a sham to make us feel like we aren’t good enough!!!  She doesn’t exist and even if she did, I am NOT her.  I cannot be her or even like her.  I am a normal human being, just plain old me, which I have to say is pretty freaking awesome!!!  My only special power is being beautiful the way that I am.

3) Life is too short not to take risks and try new things. I don’t want to live with the regrets of what I didn’t try or do because I was scared. It doesn’t mean I jump without a plan but it also means I don’t spend my life planning to “someday.”  Take action now and #bedaring because you will never know if you could have until you try.

4) There are lessons in all things. I have the choice to learn or not.  Life gives us so many opportunities to learn and the hard cases (like me) might need to learn the same lesson over and over in different ways, until we really get it.  Either way there are lessons and what we learn is our choice.  I choose to learn from the lessons and maybe sometimes even heed advice from others but sometimes there is nothing to do but to experience things for yourself.

5) Good or bad my life is mine and the only one I have. It is up to me to create it the way I want.  We all have the ability at some point to choose the direction to head in our lives, some of us figure out it young, others it takes until we are in our 30s, 40s, 50, or later.  The point is your life is yours so create the one you want, regardless of what others might think.

6) I still don’t regret my first tattoo from when I was 15 and I would get it again.  Sometimes the decisions we make when we were “young and dumb” were the right ones.  As we age we are more susceptible  to influence and trying to fit it, so get back to childhood to find out what was important to you.  I am not saying you have to get out there and get tattooed but that maybe what you loved as a kid is important now. For me my first tattoo related to my love of music and dance and at times I had forgot that, getting back to it has been powerful.

7) I can’t do everything or be everything to everyone. I have to decide what is important and what I am capable of doing then do it and set limits.  This goes back to the superwoman concept (doesn’t exist) and that we have a limited about of energy before we burnout.  Make choices that are right for  you about what you spend your time on and with you.

8) Saying no and setting boundaries doesn’t make me a bitch it makes me a real person who is meeting my needs. Sometimes we forget the importance of setting boundaries with people.  This is critical of all relationships, it helps others know what we expect and what we are willing to and not to do.  Without boundaries, we tend to feel scattered and unsafe, even anxious at times.  In order to feel safe, grounded and connected we must be able to know what we need and be able to make sure we get it.

9) Self care and time alone is just as important as spending time with my family and friends.  We can’t give others what we do not have.  So for us to be consistent and present wives, friends, mothers, sisters, daughters and employees, we have to make sure we have a full bucket before we can fill someone else’s.  It is just like on the airplane, in case of an emergency put on your oxygen before putting on someone else’s.  This makes it easy to be available and supportive to the ones you love.

10) I only have one body and one face and one mind. I feel better when I spend my time loving them instead of hating them.  It is important to fall in love with yourself, all of you, from your crooked teeth, to stringy hair, to the acne scars and stretch marks.  You can only love someone else as much as you love yourself, so the more you love yourself, the more  love you have to share.  Treat your body, mind and face like your baby.  Would you really tell your infant that they had saggy skin or should just give up trying to walk? Probably not.  So be that supportive and encouraging parent to yourself.

11) Nature is a beautiful sight & sound.  Too often we are in the hustle and bustle of life and never stop to really appreciate the beauty surrounding us.  I have reconnected with my love of nature and try to create it around me.  I appreciate the sounds of the birds, the wind and the blowing trees.  I love to watch flowers bloom, birds fly and trees blow in the wind.  Stop and really take in your amazing surroundings.

12) Sunlight & being outside is critical to being happy.  The more I am outside, the more I want to be outside.  I am more productive, feel more connected and am even  happier.  The sun brightens up the day.  I recommend finding a spot where you can sit outside and enjoy some morning sun to start your day.

13) The ocean heals and has so much power to create or destroy or to hold sorrow, hopes and dreams. To me one of the best places to be is walking on the beach. It is when I feel most connected to my soul.

14) Working out barefoot is the best. It helps me feet grounded and get connected in a way that is not possible with shoes. I have never liked working out in shoes, I felt unstable and uncomfortable.  When I can’t go barefoot I wear five fingers.  All the girls I train with workout barefoot and I think they like it.

15) I always have a choice in everything, even not making a choice is a choice.  We are only powerless when we give away our power of choice.  Once I started to really understand this, I felt so much more in control of my life.

16) Time by myself doesn’t mean I don’t love my friends and family or my husband and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong. It just means that I need time to get connected with myself and the only way to do this is to spend time with myself by myself.  For some people they struggle with this because sometimes we aren’t the nicest person to be around, but the more you get to know yourself the more you might just like your alone time.

17) They only person I am always with is me, so it is important that I am kind to myself and add value to my own life instead of being judgmental and critical or even hurtful and harmful to myself. Often we are our own worst critic. Remember speak to yourself like you would an infant learning to walk.

18) Reality TV really isn’t reality and it is bad for the soul. Instead I recommend getting connected to a good book. Some of my favorite that I have read are The Four Agreements, The Power of Full Engagement, The Gifts of Imperfection, Unleashed (By Diana Antholis) and The Presence Process.  There are many more but these remain at the top of my list.

19) The hardest thing I have ever done is to work on my relationship with myself.  This has also been the most rewarding because it has improved my relationships with my husband, family and friends.  Self-discovery and exploration while challenging and emotional is indescribably rewarding.  The best investment you will ever make, is in yourself.

20) We are all perfect, just the way we are, all the time.  You and I are imperfectly perfect and there is no other way around it. Embrace that there is nothing wrong with you, just as a parent believes their child is perfect.

21) The # on the scale or my body fat % doesn’t define the quality of the woman, wife, friend, daughter, sister, aunt and coach that I am.  I am so much more and have so much more to offer than what I look like and so do you.  Believe me when I tell you that you are so much more that a # or dress size.  You have so much beauty to share.

22) Having a life’s purpose gives me direction and adds value to my life.  Without having a purpose we become misguided and unhappy.  Have something greater than you to contribute to whether it be your children, a hobby, a business or volunteer.  Find sometime to do and enjoy it.

23) Marriage is work and requires compassion and consideration of yourself and the other person. Sometimes you have to give in order to receive. Perspective is everything so in giving to your partner you are really giving to yourself.  This takes time to learn and appreciate.

24) I am complete and whole as I am. My husband doesn’t complete me, he adds value to my life in ways I don’t have the capacity of experiencing without him.  And I add value to his in ways he doesn’t have without me.  Stop selling yourself short, you will never need someone to complete you. When your umbilical cord was cut, that symbolize you were a complete person.  Change your perspective and see the other as adding value and MORE than  you have.  It will give you a new appreciation to that person and your relationship with them.

25) Sharing the “real” me is important.  Being fake only attract what I don’t want.  If I don’t share who I am how can people really appreciate my awesomeness. Hiding myself and what I like is only a disservice to myself and those around me.  Don’t be afraid to share your light and essence with the world, you deserve to shine brightly and to be seen as you are, in your beauty.

26) It’s okay to be a dork. We all are sometimes.  Part of life is letting go and getting comfortable with being silly.  Laughter is best when you can just relax and be comfortable with you just being you.

27) Crying is not only a sign of strength but a great way to release and integrate old emotions that have been trapped.  Dis-spell the myth that “Big Girls or Boys don’t cry” return to sender.  When we stop ourselves from crying and expressing our emotion we are cutting ourselves off from feeling things.  Not only pain but joy as well.  Let the tears flow.

28) We all do much of what we do because we want to be good enough and accepted.  Often we try to prove we aren’t good enough.  But what would life be like if we were good enough and accepted just the way we are?  Amazing I am sure!

29) Living life is a practice and process and it happens everyday. Every day is living and every day we are growing sometimes we don’t realize it but growth and transformation are always present. Embrace the practice of living in this moment.

30) The journey is more important than the destination.  To often we get caught up in the end product or goal and forget to appreciate what is happening right now.  Focus on the journey of life and enjoy the trip, you only live and experience it once.  This includes many of your goals.

31) Two things to do everyday……. Dance like no one is watching and Laugh so hard I pee my pants (because remember no one is watching).  If you have never peed your pants laughing you haven’t lived…  seriously you haven’t.  I can think of a couple times I actually peed while laughing because something was so incredibly funny. There is so much freedom in letting yourself just be.  So dance and laugh like no one is watching, be careless and seven again.

32) Letting go of the past & future creates space for the present which is where life is really lived. When you hold on to things, there is no room for new things.  So let go of things no longer servicing you and make space for new and exciting experiences. Remember you only live once, so let go and pee (just kidding).  Let go of the past and embrace this very moment.

33) We can live with a lot less $$ and experience more happiness than we imagined possible.  Money doesn’t buy happiness.  Yes it can buy things that we think make us happy but I challenge you to really thing about the times when you were happiest and I bet it has more to do with the experience and company you kept then the actual money in your pocket.

34) Joe Dirt had some great wisdom and a wonderful outlook on life, we can all learn from him.  “Life’s a garden, dig it.”  If you haven’t seen the movie watch it. And if you have seen it but it’s been a while, watch it again.  See what lessons you can take from his tenacity and heart.

35) Adversity and challenges help us understand how strong we are.  Sometimes we don’t know what we are really capable of until we are put to the test.  We are stronger then we think we are mentally and physically.

36) Burpees haven’t killed anyone I know. So do more burpees. Plain and simple :))

37) Eat REAL food (that you can grow or kill) because you are a REAL person.  We aren’t fake  so eating food like products mess up our bodies.  Eat real food and see what happens.  For me personally, I feel better physically, emotionally and mentally.

38) Technology has never been able to replicate mother nature without major problems.  Look to mother nature for answers first.

Bonus – 39) All or Nothing, ends with nothing……

These are just some of the many lessons I have learned.  I hope that they help you feel 38 and great, no matter what age you are. #38andGreat